0:02
The camera is on, you have something you want to say. But the Gremlins in your head are telling you to hide out instead. I'm Mendhi Audlin. And today on the what if it all goes red podcast, how to put yourself out there confidently joyfully, without all that self judgment. So let's do this. This week, we are doing something new. So we are taking requests from you members of our web club The What If UP Club if you're not familiar with it. We are a co creative community of dreamers and visionaries and change agents. And you can learn more about us at what if up.org We have this online forum where you can post your goals and your intentions and your challenges and receive ideas and encouragement from our community. And this week, I'm excited to take it one step further. I have selected one of the requests from within our group. And I've brought you an expert today to provide some really practical tools, some ideas and great ideas to help you move forward. So my guest today Brynden Kumar. Asami is our guest today. And Brendon is the founder of master talk. And he coaches, ambitious executives, entrepreneurs to become 1% communicators in their industry. And he also has a YouTube channel called Master talk, check it out. It's fantastic. His goal, his mission is to provide free access to communication tools for everyone in the world. Brendan, thank you so much for being here.
1:23
Mendhi. The pleasure is absolutely my thanks for having me.
1:27
It's great to have you here. So here's the request that was posted in our community. And this is from joyful, Jeannie. And what she asks Is this, she says, What are your best tips for replacing self judgment with something much nicer, especially when you're going to go on camera? So let me give you a little context for this. So in our community, we do introductions, sometimes we go live on Facebook, and for a lot of people that brings up a lot of anxiety, a lot of self judgment. What's what's the first thing that comes to mind for you, when you hear this question?
1:58
You know, what I love about this community Mendhi Is we definitely share the same value. So let's start with the first thing, which I'm sure your community will appreciate, is that let's begin with this question. And then let's get into the question that your your, your, the member in your community I asked is let's dream a better communication skills. You know, the problem with communication is it's tied in negativity, stress, anxiety, not the best place to start. Because when we start from that energy, we don't get the results we're looking for. So here's a new question. How would your life change? If you are an exceptional communicator? Right? Spend a few minutes really reflecting on that question. Because right now, the a lot of the mindset that we have is we see communication as a chore. And nobody wants to get better at doing the dishes. So it's good. What we want to do is realize that communication is not just about presenting on camera. It's not just about being on a stage. It's every moment of our life. It's the way we talk to our family. It's the way the order food at a restaurant. It's the way that we meet strangers when we travel. And when we realize that communication is about leading a more fulfilling life, then we get excited to practice it.
3:08
Yes, I love that. What if we shift the question what if it's not about overcoming the judgment but getting excited about what's possible? When when we do step into those the skill set such a, you know, a life skill, really, we're constantly communicating? I love that awareness. And I love that we are of like mind. It's so much fun to have you here. So for those who are like, yeah, yeah, I get it. And when I hit that button when I hit, you know, go live, or when I hit record on my zoom, and I know it's being recorded, that there's just a trigger. I'm sure if you see this with the people that you work with a lot of people experienced that.
3:46
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I still want a monologue with the tie. Well, I want to do a little back and forth. That's why but but yes, you're absolutely right. Given that there are still people who have that anxiety. And trust me, let me start with me. I did too. Because when I started just so people understand this, I started at the age of 22, in my mother's basement with no money, no budget with a phone, and a dream to make videos on communication and executive, public speaking tips. And reason I say there's a cool way to do this. I have a bachelor's degree in accounting. I studied my whole life in French, because I'm based in Montreal, so I didn't know the language. And I have a crooked left arm because of surgery I had when I was younger. So who in the world would do any of this? So I definitely understand the the empathy, here's what I would do. I actually wouldn't say to post on social and record on Zoom, I actually have a very different perspective on this. I would say start from the beginning, which is make a list of five people. You really appreciate it in your life. People have pour into people are super generous with you and ask yourself a very simple question. When was the last time you sent them a video message? Right so not public, people aren't watching these videos, but to those people, and I would encourage everyone who's listening to this, to start with that. Don't even worry about, you know, the Zoom call the social media, I think the first one is rewiring our minds to think of communications totally impact. And I'll give you a quick story on this. So one of my guys, he manages a team of 40 employees. It's like a design company in New York. And I told him to send 40 video messages, one to every single person, I don't care if it's the janitor or the Vice President, he didn't want to do it, not because he hated the people he worked with. He's, he's amazing guy, but because of the judgment, because of all that stuff, and I kind of forced him to, and then he did. And the next morning, he woke up to 20 or 25 messages of people like crying tears of joy, people saying, well, I don't even know you knew me. And it completely shifted his mindset around it.
5:53
Wow, that gives me a little goosebumps just hearing that because that really is, to me my shift and I did Toastmasters. And I used to make myself sick every time before I would talk I would have my stomach would just be in knots. So I've been there too. And what I what shifted for me was that idea that when I'm nervous about me, it's usually because I'm worried about forgetting what I'm going to say it's because I'm focused on me. And if I can access that appreciation for who I'm speaking to, and really be there for them, then it shifts my energy. So I love that as a great practice is, you know, who could? Who could I reach out to with a video message to practice? What a brilliant idea. So
6:33
jump on that Monday? Yeah, for good. Let me give a personal example. Why did I press record? Right? Because you said it's so well, it's the why the person behind us, right? It wasn't for the executive, obviously, my clients pay my bills now, which is cool. But the reason I started pastor talk was for the 15 year old girl who couldn't afford a Communication Coach. And this is something my coach teaches me a lot is, are we making an excuse to do something or not do it, I had every excuse in the book not to do it. I can wait until I'm 30. And I have a mortgage. I couldn't do all this. But then I said, Wait a second, can that 15 year old girl relate to anyone else besides me? Because I was young enough where she could relate to me. But I was also mature enough where I could share information on the subject. So I had a lot of expertise built up. And I realized that I was the only human being on Earth who could actually do this and pull this off. So it was either I posted the videos, or nobody else does. So this is what I encourage your viewers to think about is start making excuses to do something rather than nothing.
7:35
So so good. I know I've had that voice in my head. And I'm like, Why doesn't somebody do something about that thing? And then realizing that that's the nudge that's the tap that says, No, that's yours to do? It's yours to do. So yeah. So if you're feeling that nudge, this is a this is a challenge day to, to reach out to that one person that 40 people. That's pretty bold, but that's life changing that's transformational. How did you get started in this? What is it that brought your heart to this particular message?
8:08
You know, I wish it was as as philanthropic as you just brought my heart to this. Let me give you the honest answer. I was I went to business school Mendhi. And my goal was never to be an entrepreneur. I didn't even know coaching was a profession. Because I didn't come from a lot of money. My parents were factory workers. So for me, the goal was to be an executive at a fortune 500 company, because that was the way out for most of us. Right when my parents immigrated from Sri Lanka to Canada, which for me was kind of my golden ticket. So I worked really hard in school, I got amazing grades. And I found out about these things called case competitions. When I was in college. Think of it like professional sports, but for nerds. Like the only way to explain this is my age. We're playing like basketball, or rugby, or baseball or some of the things you probably wouldn't see me playing. I was doing presentations competitively. But the goal behind those competitions was to get a corporate job because a lot of these executives they hire out of these, these universities, so I competed a lot. And then I got an I developed an unhealthy obsession with these things. And as I got older, I started coaching the students almost accidentally, because I wanted them to do well at these competitions too. And that led to a skill acquisition and coaching other people how to speak. So when I got my great job, I worked at IBM for a few years, I had the idea for Master talk before I started working there because I realized that everything I was sharing with the students wasn't available online for free. And that's what prompted the channel but I never thought it would turn into what it is today.
9:43
I love it. Well, to be totally honest, my embarking on I was a radio DJ in college and the reason I did it was just to meet the guys because the guys at the radio station were super rock God I know you know, the rest is history. So though. So in terms of like specific strategies, tips that we can like, okay, what can I practice? What can I do to become a better stronger communicator? What would you say is top one or two tips?
10:11
Absolutely. I call this my easy threes. Mendhi. Yeah, so one of them we already talked about, which is the video messages, I encourage people to do this. Or if you're a business owner, do this with your existing clients. Oh, my God, it's a game changer. I'm still to this day, the only person that sends the video messages, like almost exclusively, which means you're always top of mind for them. But do it also out of love just that clients as well, they appreciate it. But just a family members really makes their day that's number one doesn't take that long, 22nd video message hey, man, do you think you're about to love the work that you do have one full week, it's easy. It's simple. Number one, number two is an exercise I call the random bird exercise. So essentially, what it is, is you pick a word like book like tree like forest, and you create random presentations out of thin air. So why is this exercise effective? What I always tell people is if you can make sense out of nonsense, you can make sense out of anything. So do this a few times a day, I always recommend doing this to your family, nieces, nephews, people around you. So you're held accountable. And kids usually do better than adults. So it's it kind of makes you feel embarrassed as well. So that's number two. And then finally, number three is the question drill. We get asked questions all the time in our lives, many whether it's our families to shake up the trash, whether it's our work, people asking us about our business, but a lot of us are reactive to those questions. We're not proactive. So what I encourage people to think about Mendhi Is every day for only five minutes. That's it. Write down one of the questions you think the world will ask you about your expertise, or a podcast or something, and write out the answer to it. But if you do one question a day for five minutes for a year, you'll have answered 365 questions about your expertise, and you'll be unbeatable.
11:59
Wow, that is a really fabulous, fabulous, fabulous ideas. Let's say that millions of people around the world that 15 year old girl and all her friends and all her connections and all the execs and everyone, let's say everyone is doing this, like we are empowered, we we are confident in our speaking we speak powerfully and succinctly and all these wonderful things. What changes in the world? What is your vision for what's possible through this work?
12:24
beaut beautiful question, man. It's so I'll tell you the story that I was, I was like to say, so I was watching the TIC tock the other day. And the TIC tock was about Taylor Swift. So the TIC tock starts, she wins Woman of the Year in 2014 toward that billboard gives up. It's like a music company. And she says something really interesting towards the end of her speech. She says your next a woman of the year is 11 years old right now. She's sitting in a choir. She's learning piano for the first time and she has big dreams to be a singer. And we need to take care of her. And then what happens is that the TIC tock kind of flips, and it's seven years later, and Billy Eilish wins Women of the Year by Billboard, she's like the youngest inductee in the history of Billboard, she's 17 years old. She gets up on the stage, she has big glasses, big outfit, she goes, Oh my god, like every single speech is so long. And then she ends her award speech by saying, you know, in 2014, Taylor Swift was talking about how like, you know, like your next woman of the years, 11 years old, and I was that girl. Right, I was learning piano the first time I was in choir. So the only thing I have left to say billboard is thank you for taking care of me. And when I heard that, I thought about the next Elon Musk Mendhi Because when Elon Musk was 15 years old, nobody really cared about him. No one's really spending any time with because he hasn't won yet. He didn't get his exits. He didn't make his money. And I thought about the 15 year old go right now, as we're talking that I don't know, nobody can identify. And I said who's helping her? Because it might be might be someone in like Cambodia or something. So my vision for the world is if I could democratize communication become the next Dale Carnegie for this technological area, because I have all the tools now to scale this out. It means every genius in our society, every Elan will be an exceptional communicator, the human race would advance at lightning speed.
14:28
Wow. So you are totally a what if upper, aren't you? What if it all goes right? I see it I see it. So one of the things that we do in our community is we What if up and for those of you that are new to the podcast that's taking a vision and saying what if in a way that creates positive possibilities. So I want to do a shout out because I know joyful genie from her post. She had lots of really wonderful ideas. I want to share a couple of them and then I'll toss it over to you Brian and to see what additional What if she might have for our joyful Genie here. So again, hurry request was what are your best tips for replacing self judgment with something much nicer, especially when you're going to go on camera? Well, I want to do a shout out to Robin Hackett. Robin is a singer, songwriter, amazing performer out in Texas, coming. You know, she's hopefully going to come visit me in New York sometime soon. And she says, What if you focus in on what's good? And what is beautiful about you? What if you find the beauty in what you were doing? You are inspiring and uplifting others, and let that be your only focus. So I love that what have you. You just acknowledge the good and the beauty that is within you. Diana, who is a minister out in Kansas in Kansas City, Missouri area, says What if we all remember to connect from our hearts, not our appearance or attempt at perfection? What if we can let go of that need to have it be absolutely perfect, and just allow ourselves to express from the heart? What comes up for you? What are some possibilities that pop up for you, Brandon?
15:55
I would say what if we all had the ability to communicate our unique essence to the world in a way where we didn't care about what other people thought of that essence? That's probably what comes up to me.
16:09
Yes. What if the message is yours to give you give it just because it's yours to give? And what if that is enough? I love it. So Ron, and this has been so much fun. I love what you're doing. And I want to just soak it all up myself. It's so good. So I know you're offered a free class. Tell us a little bit more. How can people work with you? How can we learn more about what you do?
16:31
Absolutely, man, this is a fantastic episode. Thanks so much for having me. It really made. It's a great start to my day. I was like, yes. Yeah, so I'm happy, happy to share that. And also give you a closing quote, that I think will really inspire your community. And I got this from Ali good debt. And he says this, If you help one person, the world will give you permission to help everyone else. So when I started master talk, it wasn't about whatever the count is now. But it was really about the seven people the 10 people that were in that university that I knew I couldn't I didn't have the time to coach anymore, because I was going to work at a corporate job. Focus on that small group Seth Godin refers to this as the smallest viable audience, focus on the smallest group of people who really believe in what you do. And trust me if you deliver great work for them, which I'm sure you will, the world will give you permission to help everyone else in the world. So that's my closing remark in terms of how to keep in touch. Yeah, two ways to keep in touch. The first one is the YouTube channel, just type master talk in one word, you'll have access to hundreds of free videos on how to communicate ideas. And the second one is a free training I do every few weeks over zoom. It's fun, it's live, it's interactive, and of course, it's on communication. So if you want to attend that, you just got to register at Rockstar communicator.com
17:49
Love it. And I'm gonna put all those resources down in the comments in the description so that you can follow through Brenda, thank you so much for being here. It's just a joy to be with you and I appreciate all these tips, all these tools and the vision that hopefully we can be a part of creating that with you. Thanks to you being here on our podcast. Likewise. Thank you everyone for tuning in. See you next time on what if it all goes right rains down to chase your dream
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
